The Launch Doctor

Diagnosis. Prognosis.
No autopsy.

I rehearse how your launch fails — and what it costs if you don't fix it — before the crowd does.

Send me your launch — $99

One flat price. 48-hour turnaround. Your material stays yours.

The problem

You can't read your own launch.

Nobody can. You've stared at the page, the pitch, the offer so long that you read your intention instead of the words. A stranger doesn't get your intention. They get five seconds, a skeptical glance, and a back button.

The market tells you what's wrong eventually — with silence, with bounced tabs, with “looks interesting, I'll circle back.” No report. No reasons. Just the cost. I give you those reasons 48 hours before launch, on purpose.

What you get

A Quick Red Team report

On the asset you send — landing page, pitch deck, offer, product page, onboarding flow. Six honest passes:

Every finding rated by severity and effort, so you know what to fix before launch and what can wait.

Why a human

A person pulls the lever

AI can list fifty things wrong with your launch in ten seconds. That's not the hard part. The hard part is knowing which one will actually cost you — and being willing to tell you straight, with my name on the report. Red-teaming has always been a person stress-testing the thing before it ships. I point the mechanism at your launch, recommend the fixes — you decide.

Who pulls the lever
J

I've lived a few lives in one. Before this I cooked in the old food-as-medicine traditions, then practised Chinese medicine — work you can't fake, where you read what's really there and your face is on the outcome, however it lands. I read launches the same way now.

And I don't pretend to do it alone. For the better part of a year I've worked with AI as a genuine collaborator — not a gadget I prod at. It holds precise, exhaustive detail no person can keep in their head all at once; I bring the judgement, the taste, and the name on the report. It scrutinises everything. I decide what actually matters, and I answer for the call. That partnership is the method.

The work that matters is the work you can't pretend at — you show your face no matter the outcome. That's the human part. The machine brings scrutiny no one can hold all at once. Together, not in competition: that's how AI becomes an ally.
How it works

Three steps

  1. Send it. Pay $99, fill the short intake form, attach or link the asset.
  2. I attack it. One focused adversarial pass. No committee, no fluff.
  3. You get the report. Within 48 hours, in your inbox. Findings, reasons, prioritized fixes.

No call required. No subscription. No upsell.

Price
$99 AUD

One asset. One report. 48 hours. Less than an hour with a consultant — before you spend months on a launch that doesn't land. No subscription, no tiers to decode. Pay, send, receive.

Send me your launch — $99
Confidentiality

Your material stays yours

You're sending me pre-launch work, and I treat it that way: I don't share it, I don't reuse it, and I delete your files within 14 days of delivery. The report is for you. What you sent me is yours.

Questions
Isn't this just AI output?

No. The Method is a structured human red-team — judgement, prioritization, and the willingness to tell you the hard thing. I use tools where they help, the way any analyst does, but the call is mine and the report is signed.

Why $99?

It's deliberately low so the decision is easy. The price is for one focused pass on one asset, fast. The cheapest honest mirror you'll find before launch.

What do I send?

A link or a file: a landing page URL, a deck, a doc, a screenshot of an offer or onboarding flow. The intake form tells you exactly what helps.

What if my thing is actually good?

Then you get a short report that says so, with the few things still worth tightening — and the confidence to ship.

Is this advice?

No. It's an honest adversarial read of your launch material. Every decision that follows is yours.

Start

Commission a red team

Pay your $99, send your asset, and the 48-hour clock starts. Secure checkout via Stripe.

Send me your launch — $99

Diagnosis. Prognosis. No autopsy.